Ladwotmil is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, idiotic ant.

Ladwotmil created snails nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ladwotmil, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Ladwotmil, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Ladwotmil's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ladwotmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never wear green kilts.