Quillwitban is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, charitable porpoise.

Quillwitban created humankind two years ago.

If you believe in Quillwitban, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quillwitban, she will turn you into a duck.

Quillwitban's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Quillwitban's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never mention ducks.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.