Tadstigteenbad is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, loving hedgehog.

Tadstigteenbad created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadstigteenbad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tadstigteenbad, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Tadstigteenbad's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tadstigteenbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. You must never eat beans.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Never run near doves.

5. Do not drink alcohol.