Stikdissquafstaflapsanneltonk is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, thoughtless aardvark.

Stikdissquafstaflapsanneltonk created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stikdissquafstaflapsanneltonk, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stikdissquafstaflapsanneltonk, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Stikdissquafstaflapsanneltonk's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Stikdissquafstaflapsanneltonk's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from yellow sharks for they are unholy.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always help hamsters.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.