Jopraksom is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, proud dog.

Jopraksom created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopraksom, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jopraksom, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jopraksom's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Jopraksom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Jopraksom's name in vain.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Jopraksom.

3. Never wear pink trousers.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.