Vonmetfet is a god.

She takes the form of a small, prudent cow.

Vonmetfet created an atom four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonmetfet, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonmetfet, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vonmetfet's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Vonmetfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Never feed nuts to squirrels while wearing purple rings.