Largbestnan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witty horse.

Largbestnan created the Whirlpool Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largbestnan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Largbestnan, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Largbestnan's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Largbestnan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always treat otters with great respect.

5. Largbestnan loves shrews, so they must be honoured.