Flabbepxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, merciless toad.

Flabbepxuck created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Flabbepxuck, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flabbepxuck, it will turn you into a duck.

Flabbepxuck's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Flabbepxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear indigo skirts.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Never feed cucumbers to goats while wearing mauve kilts.

5. Do not trade with those who eat rice.