Jenquamsit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome hummingbird.

Jenquamsit created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Jenquamsit, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jenquamsit, she will turn you into a frog.

Jenquamsit's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Jenquamsit's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Do not speak about spinach.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. You must love Jenquamsit.