Rotcutriphimfedpak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, duplicitous newt.

Rotcutriphimfedpak created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotcutriphimfedpak, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Rotcutriphimfedpak, it will turn you into a snail.

Rotcutriphimfedpak's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Rotcutriphimfedpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of tortoises.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not take Rotcutriphimfedpak's name in vain.