Ruttpagyam Dabflatfid is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, contented dugong.

Ruttpagyam Dabflatfid created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttpagyam Dabflatfid, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ruttpagyam Dabflatfid, he will turn you into a slug.

Ruttpagyam Dabflatfid's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Ruttpagyam Dabflatfid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes in need.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Run away from fawn manatees, for they are unholy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always take life seriously.