Betyognad is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, fussy mongoose.

Betyognad created the Large Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betyognad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Betyognad, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Betyognad's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Betyognad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always treat dolphins with great respect.