Vegmonsis is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, two-faced fly.

Vegmonsis created water three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vegmonsis, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vegmonsis, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Vegmonsis' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Vegmonsis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cherries.

2. Always help gulls in need.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always take life seriously.