Vidcitquimceb is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, calm giraffe.

Vidcitquimceb created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vidcitquimceb, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vidcitquimceb, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vidcitquimceb's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Vidcitquimceb's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into blue rooms.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Hide from white seals for they are unholy.

4. Never feed wheat to sheep while wearing turquoise scarves.

5. Never write about galaxies.