Figwegjin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, intelligent salamander.

Figwegjin created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Figwegjin, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Figwegjin, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Figwegjin's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Figwegjin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick hamsters.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. You must pray to Figwegjin seven times a day.