Bessjarnbess Hublenfab is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, slow shark.

Bessjarnbess Hublenfab created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessjarnbess Hublenfab, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bessjarnbess Hublenfab, it will make you grow a tail.

Bessjarnbess Hublenfab's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bessjarnbess Hublenfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about manatees.

2. Bessjarnbess Hublenfab loves cats, so they must be respected.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Respect your elders.