Kemquagkip is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonourable horse.

Kemquagkip created everything that exists five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemquagkip, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Kemquagkip, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Kemquagkip's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Kemquagkip's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Kemquagkip loves whales, so they must be respected.

4. Never run near great tits.

5. Always help sick capybaras.