Tigminbomfat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, smart lizard.

Tigminbomfat created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigminbomfat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tigminbomfat, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tigminbomfat's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tigminbomfat's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Tigminbomfat must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tigminbomfat.