Campogfad is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omnipotent lobster.

Campogfad created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Campogfad, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Campogfad, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Campogfad's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Campogfad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.