Lakfadcin is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, proud elephant.

Lakfadcin created gold seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakfadcin, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lakfadcin, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Lakfadcin's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Lakfadcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Lakfadcin's name in vain.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lakfadcin.

4. You must love Lakfadcin.

5. Never mention sharks.