Flagvanbod is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, dishonourable wyrm.

Flagvanbod created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagvanbod, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flagvanbod, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Flagvanbod's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Flagvanbod's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

2. Do not eat strawberries.

3. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

4. Feed all hungry ants.

5. Capybaras are not to be trusted.