Jenpaklit is a god.

She takes the form of a large, duplicitous badger.

Jenpaklit created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jenpaklit, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jenpaklit, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jenpaklit's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Jenpaklit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about wheat.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not commit murder.