Cemsandmum is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, prudent grasshopper.

Cemsandmum created silver eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemsandmum, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Cemsandmum, she will cry a lot.

Cemsandmum's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Cemsandmum's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from cyan badgers for they are unholy.

2. Do not kill nematodes.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Do not cook food in pots.