Wotvogcun is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, weak grasshopper.

Wotvogcun created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Wotvogcun, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wotvogcun, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Wotvogcun's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Wotvogcun's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.