Yikgar is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, resourceful cow.

Yikgar created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikgar, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yikgar, he will turn you into a tree.

Yikgar's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Yikgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick birds.

2. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always treat mice with great respect.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.