Vonksadvid is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, conceited pig.

Vonksadvid created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonksadvid, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonksadvid, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Vonksadvid's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Vonksadvid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Vonksadvid on top of important buildings.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not take Vonksadvid's name in vain.

4. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

5. Hide if three moths approach from the west.