Fossjadyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a small, tranquil faun.

Fossjadyarp created snails five million years ago.

If you believe in Fossjadyarp, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fossjadyarp, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fossjadyarp's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fossjadyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Fossjadyarp must be the most important thing in your life.