Timfidbed is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, cheerful bat.

Timfidbed created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Timfidbed, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Timfidbed, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Timfidbed's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Timfidbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt nematodes.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect eight tin sculptures of Timfidbed on top of important buildings.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.