Cumdunmon Nelmegjon is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, effective newt.

Cumdunmon Nelmegjon created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cumdunmon Nelmegjon, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cumdunmon Nelmegjon, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Cumdunmon Nelmegjon's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Cumdunmon Nelmegjon's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peas.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Cumdunmon Nelmegjon must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Erect five platinum sculptures of Cumdunmon Nelmegjon on top of important buildings.

5. Never run in the presence of seals.