Bapzedgub is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, wise hyena.

Bapzedgub created the Cigar Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bapzedgub, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bapzedgub, she will be very unhappy.

Bapzedgub's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Bapzedgub's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick monkeys.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Never bounce in the presence of swans.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Never feed wheat to rats while wearing turquoise boots.