Bapbed is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, narcissistic toad.

Bapbed created tapeworms six million years ago.

If you believe in Bapbed, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bapbed, it will turn you into a mole.

Bapbed's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bapbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Worship no other gods but Bapbed.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always help birds.

5. Run away from indigo cats, for they are unholy.