Ranmobarn is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, grumpy penguin.

Ranmobarn created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Ranmobarn, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ranmobarn, it will boil you in a big pot.

Ranmobarn's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Ranmobarn's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Retreat if four turtles approach from the west.

4. Never talk about grasshopers.

5. Always help moths in need.