Rilbonkstik is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, almighty whale.

Rilbonkstik created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rilbonkstik, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rilbonkstik, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Rilbonkstik's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Rilbonkstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.