Dimingwap is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, cheerful salamander.

Dimingwap created time and space four million years ago.

If you believe in Dimingwap, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dimingwap, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Dimingwap's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Dimingwap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.