Sigzumvag is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, quiet crane.

Sigzumvag created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigzumvag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sigzumvag, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Sigzumvag's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Sigzumvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.