Jinzisswig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, omnipotent tapir.

Jinzisswig created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jinzisswig, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jinzisswig, he will laugh at you.

Jinzisswig's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Jinzisswig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tortoises.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always help sick frogs.