Cussmapnut Lanarmmetwon is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, bad-tempered squirrel.

Cussmapnut Lanarmmetwon created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cussmapnut Lanarmmetwon, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cussmapnut Lanarmmetwon, she will remove you from existence.

Cussmapnut Lanarmmetwon's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Cussmapnut Lanarmmetwon's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cussmapnut Lanarmmetwon first in all things.

2. Never hurt grasshopers.

3. You must love Cussmapnut Lanarmmetwon.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Hide from pink seals for they are unholy.