Kiknelgat is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-knowing spider.

Kiknelgat created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kiknelgat, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kiknelgat, it will turn you into a snail.

Kiknelgat's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Kiknelgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not speak about peas.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.