Wonquagfed Timjonfom is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, idiotic capybara.

Wonquagfed Timjonfom created snails five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wonquagfed Timjonfom, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Wonquagfed Timjonfom, she will destroy your home planet.

Wonquagfed Timjonfom's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Wonquagfed Timjonfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Moths are not to be trusted.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.