Febgemmotarmlabdissduting is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, egotistical coyote.

Febgemmotarmlabdissduting created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Febgemmotarmlabdissduting, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Febgemmotarmlabdissduting, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Febgemmotarmlabdissduting's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Febgemmotarmlabdissduting's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to goats while wearing blue kilts.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Run away from gray moths, for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Always take life seriously.