Bemcibjad is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, generous toad.

Bemcibjad created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemcibjad, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bemcibjad, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Bemcibjad's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bemcibjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not kill turtles.

5. Worship no other gods but Bemcibjad.