Citcetyess is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, pitiless jaguar.

Citcetyess created matter two years ago.

If you believe in Citcetyess, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Citcetyess, he will turn you into a slug.

Citcetyess' most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Citcetyess' Holy Commandments

1. Always treat badgers with great respect.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Never skip in the presence of doves.

4. Always help swans.

5. Worship no other gods but Citcetyess.