Appnurtlunbesscambuntonkbig is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, egotistical dingo.

Appnurtlunbesscambuntonkbig created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Appnurtlunbesscambuntonkbig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Appnurtlunbesscambuntonkbig, he will turn you into a slug.

Appnurtlunbesscambuntonkbig's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Appnurtlunbesscambuntonkbig's Holy Commandments

1. Appnurtlunbesscambuntonkbig loves ants, so they must be honoured.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never go into magenta rooms.