Popjinhom is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciful narwhal.

Popjinhom created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Popjinhom, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Popjinhom, she will strike you with lightening.

Popjinhom's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Popjinhom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect five nickel sculptures of Popjinhom on top of important buildings.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Hide if eight cats approach from the south.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.