Sadlabved is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, smart tapir.

Sadlabved created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Sadlabved, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sadlabved, it will turn you into a dog.

Sadlabved's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Sadlabved's Holy Commandments

1. Sadlabved must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Sadlabved on top of important buildings.