Higmuttar Cedlipfun Batquamvil is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, vain pigeon.

Higmuttar Cedlipfun Batquamvil created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higmuttar Cedlipfun Batquamvil, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Higmuttar Cedlipfun Batquamvil, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Higmuttar Cedlipfun Batquamvil's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Higmuttar Cedlipfun Batquamvil's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sheep in need.

2. Hide if three whales approach from the west.

3. Never laugh in the presence of shrews.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Higmuttar Cedlipfun Batquamvil loves seals, so they must be honoured.