Legratrig is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, selfish spider.

Legratrig created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Legratrig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Legratrig, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Legratrig's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Legratrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Put Legratrig first in all things.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never jump near porpoises.