Cetbidtail is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, able cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cetbidtail created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetbidtail, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cetbidtail, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Cetbidtail's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Cetbidtail's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never mention turtles.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.