Timjadlin is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unselfish faun.

Timjadlin created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Timjadlin, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Timjadlin, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Timjadlin's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Timjadlin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green foxes, for they are unholy.

2. Never hurt shrews.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.