Loopbastyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, blissful mongoose.

Loopbastyarp created a down quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopbastyarp, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Loopbastyarp, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Loopbastyarp's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Loopbastyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat lemons.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.